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 Post subject: Norwegian dude needs help with educational copy
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:26 am 
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I might be bending the rules here a bit, for I am not a native English speaker. I would very much appreciate is any comment on cheesiness, grammar and tactics. (The drawings are already made, so no need to suggest altering them). As you may see from the theme, any error would look really bad for the client.


Searching for knowledge? (with drawing of a girl on a flying carpet)
Need to cover the basics? (with drawing of someone painting)
Is something puzzling you? (with drawing people with puzzle)
Education in your language (some photo)

Looking for quality tutoring in a wide range of topics? We can offer education within a number of themes. Many of them are tutored in several languages.

Learn any language: If you ask, we will deliver. We have very popular beginner or advanced Norwegian Intensive courses, and lectures in both business and common English.

You may also choose from a wide range of non-language courses: How about studying photography, genealogy searching or singing up for our skipper course?

For an extensive list of courses and more detailed information, please visit our webpage at (web), or call us at (number) for help and assistance.

If I am of topic, or braking the rules - please delete!


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 Post subject: copy critique
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:55 pm 
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Personally, I would need to know a little more about the site, its goals, the intended audience, etc. before being able to provide a critique. Without knowing more, the excerpt is out of context.

What I can say is that its a little awkward. You've used phrasing that a native English speaker wouldn't use (at least not where I'm from but again understanding who you are targeting is critical).

Also you have a spelling error: singing up for our skipper course? I think you meant to say signing.

Jill


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 6:10 pm 
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Thanks Jill!

It's sort of a hasty assignment, so I'm not properly briefed myself. I only recieved a few Norwegian keywords, and was informed that it would be printed in a a magazine. The school educates adults, and the ad is intended for new Norwegians. The sites contains information on courses and registration.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 11:53 pm 
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Yeah - since your target audience is Norwegians, I'm not a good person to critique your copy. You want to write much the same way you would speak. Words and phrases that I would use as a Canadian will be quite different.

Sorry - I'm of no help.

Jill


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 4:43 am 
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It was very kind of you to try, though.

It's the thought that counts, as they say.


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