We’re enjoying some much-needed rain in Sydney today, so I thought I’d celebrate with a more light-hearted post.

A couple of years back, someone sent me this gem, previously published in an issue of Vertigo, the much-loved student magazine of the University of Technology, Sydney. Penned by editor, Pat Armstrong, this very funny piece deconstructs MC Hammer’s 90s ‘classic’, You Can’t Touch This. It also provides a disturbing insight into the deeply troubled minds of today’s young writers! Be warned, I’ve been told this is only funny to writers!

MC Hammer is:

• A super dope homeboy:
• From the Oaktown.
• Dope on the floor; and
• Magic on the mic.

Busting:

• The funky lyrics;
• Fresh new kicks; and
• Fresh new pants.

Events for which the bell is sounded:

• School being in (sucka).

Things which can’t be stopped:

• Hammer time (concept is unclear – some explanation needed).

Things which can’t be touched:

• This.

You may have noticed in the About page for this blog that I threatened to occasionally chat about the lighter side of writing. Well, given the dry nature of my recent SEO copy posts, I’ve decided that the time has come to carry out my threat!

So I’m gonna talk about the lyrics of perhaps Australia’s greatest pub rock band, Cold Chisel.

Anyone who’s heard Jimmy Barnes sing/scream might instantly ask, “what’s that got to do with copywriting?” Many would also ask, “why discuss the lyrics of a screaming pub-rock band?”

My answer? Cold Chisel’s songwriters – particularly Don Walker and Ian Moss – were excellent writers; I wish I were half as good!

The very fact that you might question my choice shows how good they are; Cold Chisel enjoy the status of one of Australia’s greatest ever pub rock bands, but most people – even fans – overlook the quality of their lyrics. That’s because the lyrics do their job so well. They’re elegant without being pretentious, and evocative without being ‘soft’. They meet the needs of their audience perfectly. (And isn’t that what every writer aspires to?)

Take, for example, “Bow River” (the song that inspired me to write about Cold Chisel today). Penned by Ian Moss, Bow River celebrates an escape to the Australian desert and the northern tropics.

But what’s important about this song isn’t so much the destination – although many Australians do identify with the Australian outback; it’s the way in which Moss strikes a chord with the Australian working class. He successfully combines youthful romanticism, profanity, escapism, contempt for authority, slang, and visual, aural and tactile imagery. The result is an elegant piece of writing that captivates its target working class audience, yet still lends itself to fast-paced, raucous vocals and a hard rock arrangement.

Take a look at the lyrics below (quoted from the Cold Chisel website). Of course, as with all good song lyrics, you have to hear them in context to fully appreciate their inherent meter and timing, so whether it’s your first time or – like me – you’re revisiting after a long absence, it’s well worth a listen…

Bow River
Ian Moss

Listen now to the wind babe
Listen now to the rain
Feel that water lickin’ at my feet again
I don’t wanna see this town no more
Wastin’ my days on a factory floor
First thing you know I’ll be back in Bow River again

Anytime you want babe, you can come around
But only six days separates me and the great top end
I been working hard, twelve hours a day
And the money I saved won’t buy my youth again
Goin’ for the heat babe, and a tropical rain
In a place where no man’s puttin’ on the dog for me
Waitin’ on the weekend, set o’ brand new tyres
And back in Bow River’s just where I want to be

Listen now to the wind babe
Listen now to the rain
Feel that water lickin’ at my feet again
I don’t wanna see this town no more
Too many years made up my mind to go or stay
Right to my dying day
I don’t wanna see another engine line
Too many years and I owe my mind
First set o’ wheels headin’ back Bow River again
First thing you know I’ll be back in Bow River again

Got the motor runnin’, got the rest of my days
Sold everything I owned for a song
So anytime you want babe, you can come around
But don’t leave it too late you just might find me gone

Listen now to the wind babe . . .

I don’t need the score
I’m goin’ through the door
Gonna tell the man I don’t want no more
Pick up a fast car and burn my name in the road
One week two week maybe even more
Piss all my money up against the damn wall
First thing you know I’ll be back in Bow River again